Something Very Suspicious Is Happening Here

Y’all, It’s a dog-eat-dog world in this house right now.

Something is clearly going on. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I can tell you this: nobody here is acting normal.

For example, Mama forgot to feed me yesterday. That has never happened in the history of ever. Even when she was really sick. So obviously something serious is wrong with the humans.

Since no one has bothered to explain anything to me (nobody ever tells the dog), I have been quietly observing the situation from my usual supervisory position on the couch.

Here is what I have noticed.

Daddy is home all the time now. Just… here. Walking around. Looking busy. Moving things. Making lists. Standing in doorways and just looking, like he forgot why he went there.

The house is suddenly full of boxes. Paper boxes, plastic boxes.
Boxes on the floor.
Boxes on tables.
Boxes stacked up like some kind of cardboard city.

It’s starting to feel like one of those fun houses at the fair.

And everybody knows fun houses have clowns.

I do not trust clowns. Nobody with any sense should trust clowns.

Mama keeps picking things up, putting them down somewhere else, and saying things like, “Well this has to go too.”

I don’t know where “too” is, but apparently a lot of stuff lives there now.

Also Mama keeps talking about bringing all her sewing things.

I don’t know how many sewing things a person actually needs, but judging by all the boxes, I suspect she may be opening a quilt factory.

Meanwhile Daddy keeps talking about a shop. Mama takes me shopping sometimes. I wonder if that’s the same thing. Probably not, but it sounds like a place where I will not be allowed to chew anything.

There have also been strangers showing up at the lake place with loud machines digging up trees and stumps. Several of my favorite outdoor facilities have disappeared completely.

Frankly, the landscaping situation there has become very upsetting.

Then Mama and Daddy went somewhere without me and stayed almost all day. They LEFT ME ALONE. She came home happy about getting rid of her poison straw – maybe they took it to the too place.

Since then she’s been doing this strange slow exercise where she waves her arms around and walks very carefully like the floor might suddenly move.

I have watched this closely.

It looks very suspicious.

Mostly, I’ve decided the best strategy right now is to lie down, stay calm, and avoid the chaos until the humans finish whatever it is they’re doing.

But I will say this.

Mama seems to be smiling a lot more lately.

The sun is coming out.

The geese are back.

And the humans keep saying things like,
“Spring is going to be good.”

So I’m keeping an eye on things.

Because from what I can tell…

something new is about to happen around here.

And if nobody else is going to report on it properly,

I guess that job falls to me.

— Sassy 🐾